Scotland-born actor Alan Cumming dedicated his second memoir, Baggage: Tales From a Fully Packed Life, to his grandmother, who inspired him without even trying. “She didn’t go around trying to be inspirational, she just lived her life,” Alan, 56, tells Closer. “She was herself: a free spirit and sort of slightly batty old lady who gave joy.”
It’s clear that this multitalented performer takes after his granny. In his inspiring 2015 autobiography, Not My Father’s Son: A Memoir, Alan recounted his experiences growing up with a violent, bullying father who held his entire family hostage with his anger. Now, Baggage continues Alan’s story with warmth, humor and a number of new lessons learned. “I realized in writing my last memoir how much people need to hear the truth and need to hear people being authentic about themselves and their lives,” he says. “I think it’s really important to use your voice.”
So what made you want to write a second memoir?
“It was partly a reaction to the reaction of the first book. It was very much, ‘Oh, Alan’s triumphed.’ But I don’t feel I triumphed. I feel very happy, but I want to show with this book that I have a lot of ‘baggage’ and I continue to deal with the stuff from my past, as does everybody. That’s the key.”
The word “baggage” usually has a negative connotation, but that’s not how you mean it.
“Yes. I’m trying to turn that into a positive. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has stuff that they deal with in their life. You don’t have to have had a traumatic childhood. The idea is that you have a past and it’s good to have baggage. It makes you a stronger, more full, more wise person.”
What did you learn about yourself through the writing process?
“I felt a lot of compassion for my younger self because at the start of this book, I’m sort of flailing a bit after all the fallout from remembering all the stuff of my childhood. I also saw patterns of behavior in myself. Because of my dad, I had this thing about trying to fix angry people. I realized you can’t do that. They don’t want to be fixed, and you can’t make them happy.”
Was any of it hard to relive?
“There’s a few things, actually, that were, and also there’s a few bits I left out. I was in a toxic relationship, but I eventually realized talking about toxicity is kind of boring. The big thing is that I tried to take positive messages out of every bad thing that’s happened to me and every experience that wasn’t great. I guess I found out that I am a very positive person.”
You tell some great stories about meeting legends like Liza Minnelli, Stanley Kubrick and Faye Dunaway. Do you ever get starstruck?
“When I met Christopher Guest, who made Best in Show and Waiting For Guffman, I totally geeked out because I love Guffman so much. It’s random. I also saw a girl who was on The Bachelor at a party a couple of weeks ago. I said, ‘Holy [cow], that’s the girl from The Bachelor.’ That show is completely addictive.”
You’ve been married to your husband, Grant Shaffer, since 2007. What made him the right one for you?
“We’re both very different, but we complement each other in a good way. I kind of pull him off the brink when he gets too anxious about something, and he kind of pulls me back when I want to take my clothes off and jump in the pool. I think we’re both independent people. Our lives are both enhanced by each other, but we don’t rely on each other to make ourselves happy.”
Is there a secret to your happy marriage?
“I think the secret is that we talk to each other, we listen to each other. If anything is wrong, we don’t let it fester too long and we actually speak about it. We met when we were 39, so we were both grownups and both had been around the block a few times. We went into it very in love, but also very understanding of the other’s past and failures. Being honest changes everything. We also make each other laugh. That’s a big thing.”
Will there be another season of your musical series Schmigadoon!?
“Maybe, yes. It’s not totally confirmed yet, but it’s potentially in the cards.”
You and Kristin Chenoweth were so great in it. Had you worked together before?
“We are old friends. We first worked together in 1999 on a film called Annie. We’ve also hosted the Tonys together. So it was great. We were next-door neighbors in the hotel, and so that was hilarious. I sort of was dragging her to vegan restaurants against her will. It was a really fun thing to do that series.”
What else do you hope to do next?
“I’m going to do a solo dance piece. It starts at the Edinburgh International Festival, and I tour a little bit and then it comes to New York to the Joyce Theater. I hope to survive that. I’ll be 57, and I’m going to be doing dance theater. I like the idea of doing something I’ve never done before at an age when most dancers are 30 years past their [prime].”
Do you have a mantra you live by?
“I have several that I say all the time. When people say, ‘How are you?’ I say, ‘Still alive.’ I also say ‘Cancel, continue.’ When something bad happens, I’m like, ‘OK, cancel, moving on, cancel, continue.’ And about sexuality, I like the saying ‘Sexuality is like a vacation. You don’t always want to go to the same place twice!’”
What are you proudest of in your career?
“I’m more proud of the things that have helped people than any role I’ve played. That again is why I was more keen to write another book like this. I feel like I’m quite good at it. I’m quite good at telling my own truth to help people. That’s not a new concept, but it makes me proud that I’ve actually helped someone in their life by them reading or talking or seeing me do something. So it’s not necessarily the roles that I’ve played. It’s more being a person in the world who is speaking out. That, to me, is what I’m most proud of.”
— Reporting by Fortune Benatar
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